Wednesday 2nd December 2009 – The Updated Script & My Opinions

Making an Entrance

Scene 1

It’s really early in the morning, Jack aged 29 is fast asleep in bed, he has missed his alarm twice already... he is now 45 minutes late, the alarm goes off once more, he rolls over fumbles toward the alarm before finally checking the time.

JACK

Oh shit!

He jumps out of bed, throws his clothes on and runs out of his room.

Scene 2

He is running down the school corridor, he’s badly dressed, he pauses before he gets to his classroom door, straightens his tie and walks in.

STUDNET 1

Sir, you’re...

JACK

Fuck off Simon... Right quieten down, (pause)

(He sits at his desk n rummages through his class notes)

JACK

Oi! I said quieten down! (Pause, he goes to stand up) SHUT-UP!!

Don’t think we need him to repeat this and shout, think it’s enough to say it once then carry on with the line below

(The class settles down) Right now... where are we? He says this while looking through a textbook)

STUDENT 2

In a classroom Sir!

(The class begin to laugh)

JACK

(Looks up from the textbook)

Right do you think I’m in the mood for this? One more crack out of you and your out of here, you got that?

Think he seems aggressive here – perhaps he could just say ‘get out’, as though he just can’t be bothered

(The class fall silent again).

I thought so ... (he whispers) dickhead.

Jack walks into a full classroom of students, the girls are giggling and the boys are being rowdy. Someone has written “SEX” on the board with an illustration of a large Penis next to it. He walks round the classroom handing out condoms to the pupils, before putting one discreetly into his pocket. He notices the illustrations on the board and lazily rubs the penis off.

JACK

Sex, right so someone fill me in on what we know about sex,

(The classroom falls silent all apart from a few giggling girls)

Someone must know something... who draw that cock on the board? Perhaps they could tell us?

No? (Pause) right who can tell me what it was that I just gave you?

SEAN ROBINSON

A jonny Sir

Think somebody else should say this – I think Sean’s a good, quiet boy – would expect a naughty kid to shout out this line

JACK

And what do we use them for?

SEAN ROBINSON

To stop girls getting knocked up

JACK

Yes, well that’s on way to put it.

Right open them up... don’t be shy, Simon take it out of your mouth!!

STUDENT 1

But it’s a strawberry one

JACK

Did you hear me? ... Right now

The scene ends with him holding a banana. (FADE OUT)

We now see a drunken Jack holding a Kebab in one hand, and leading a drunken woman with the other, they are both laughing. He chucks his kebab on the ground and opens the door to his car, he takes her hand n gently pushes her inside, he starts passionately kissing the young woman’s neck; she pushes him away for a brief moment.

WOMAN 1

Do you have one?

Jack carries on having not heard her.

Do you have one... a condom?

JACK

We don’t need one, its better without one, come on Sarah.

WOMAN 1

It’s Stephanie?

JACK

Ah yes Stephanie... sorry.

Think we could cut out the kebab part and just have the bit of them in the car – it’s only a flashback so needs to be relatively short and snappy. Like him not knowing her name.

We next see Jack in a Maths class, he’s teaching the pupils timetables.

JACK

Right so 7 times 7 would be... Jenny?

STUDENT 3

Err... 48. No 49

JACK

Ah... (He pauses turns around and taps about on his calculator) yes correct!

Love this bit of him having to use a calculator to check it – it’s funny

STUDENT 2

Sir can you teach us something else, this is boring!

JACK

He looks nervously through a textbook

I’m sorry boring? You think this is fun me for me do you? Come on get up here and teach then... no ok then

Think this is aggressive – not sure that we should portray him to be

(He then mutters to himself) I have four fingers and one thumb, what does that equal... a fist BOOM

I like this but don’t think it fits in with the script – maybe a bit random

Anyway...

STUDENT 2

What?

JACK

Nothing, were doing timetables today, right next question to you then err...

(Once again he looks through his class notes) FADE OUT

Its fourth period English, Jack comes into the class holding a cup of tea, his tie hangs loose, his top button undone and he appears to have a blue patch of ink under his shirt pocket. The class are once again rowdy, and throwing balls of paper to each other one of which lands on Jacks desk.

JACK

Ok ok settle down, hey what’s this?

He picks up the piece of paper and unravels it. He reads aloud:

Mr. Allcock literally is All- Who wrote this?

The class fall silent.

Love this ^^

I’ll ask again, who wrote this? Right seeing as none of you want to admit it, your all in detention, until that one person comes forward.

The class let out a drone. A few of the students start falsely blaming Sean,

STUDENT 1

Sean!

STUDENT 2

Sean, idiot

I like this bit and it allows us to keep the bit in where Jack’s thinking ‘even her son thinks you’re all cock’ – I think we need a shot of somebody else throwing it though so it’s clear that Sean’s getting blamed wrongly

JACK

Ah Sean was it? Look I may have a funny sounding name there mate, but maybe next time you could go into detention for being a bit more creative? I mean all cock? I practically handed that one to you there didn’t I? Right Sean see me after class, right “Metaphor’s”

He begins to spell the first three letters before looking round at his class.

Can anyone hear spell ... Metaphor?

I really like this bit, it’s funny and not predictable like the dictionary idea on the original script might have been

s

Its drawing to the end of the day, Jack is seen sipping his brew by his desk, he fondling a parents- evening slip in his hands having noticed them in a pile on his desk.

JACK

Right the bell is about to go, we have a parent ...evening thing on at the end of this week apparently, (jack looks at them curiously)

So if you could take one, give them to your parents and then bring them back so we know whose coming.

I think this is a bit formal for Jack’s mind – he’s clueless and would most likely rather that nobody bring a slip back. I feel that he should be more like ‘so take one and give it to your parents…but try not to bring it back yeah’, or ‘lets do us all a favour and not bring them back though yeah’

ACT 1

Jack is his classroom; he is sat behind his desk. He is finishing up with another pupil’s parents. He gets up and shakes their hands. He looks at the next name on the register and looks up to see Sean Robinson stood outside the door talking to women with her back to the wall. He signals to Sean to come in, Sean signals to his mother and she gets up.

JACK

Right only have more to go and then I’m done.

He checks his notes before he see’s Mrs. Robinson walk through the door, she walks over, he turns and looks up. She is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, she has wavey blonde hair, blue eyes, she is dressed smartly and smile at him. Her hair is waving about her face seductively; she says something to him and holds out her hand. She carries on talking but he can’t hear a word.

MRS. ROBINSON

It IS Mr.Allcock isn’t it?

JACK

Huh? What? Yer, yes...err- hem I’m sorry, would you like to take a seat?

Jack signals to her to sit down.

Like how he’s speechless – it straight away shows a change in his attitude

JACK

So your Sean’s mother, Mrs. Robinson, pleased to meet you.

MRS. ROBINSON

Ah, call me Nicole

JACK

Shall we get started? Here are you son’s marks from previous assignments.

Jack presents them to Nicole, he seems to get lost in Nicole’s face he hair, her lips. She reached for the piece of paper Jack has in his hand, and before he can control himself, he stands up, pulls her face towards his, pushes her body towards the desk and passionately kiss’s her, she whispers his name again and again. This time a little louder.

MRS.ROBINSON

Mr. Allcock, Are you sure you alright?

JACK

Erm, I’m... I’m sorry what?

MRS.ROBINSON

I said are you ok? You seemed to be somewhere else? Can I see Sean’s assignment?

Really like the imagination idea

JACK

God, yer ha I’m sorry it’s been a very long day, here, now as you can see he is under achieving, (pause, he looks like he is thinking) we need to tackle this head on, with your co-operation we can help Sean achieve a high standard of work.

MRS.ROBINSON

Whatever it takes Mr.Allcock

JACK

Unfortunately we are out of time Mrs... Nicole

Jack goes to get up, and bangs himself against the desk in the rush, an awkward handshake follows. He watches Nicole leave the room n slowly sits back down, for a moment he seems to be in a daze,

Internal monologue (JACK)

Ok ok, keep your cool, not sure exactly what’s just happened but I’m pretty sure... (Pause) I’m in love ... oh my god what? Her OWN son things you’re ALL COCK!! You have no chance son! SHIT ... she wouldn’t look at me, I smell bad, look like shit, I’m pretty sure I have worn these boxers twice in a row, and I can’t construct full sentences around her. Yer I’m offensive to ALL 5 senses! Fuck this Allcock, sort your life out.

It’s 7am, Jack’s alarm had just gone off, he turns over noticing the alarm, and gets up, we see him wash his face, pull on new underwear, pull out a freshly ironed out shirt and does his tie, he gives a cheeky wink at the camera.

Not sure about the cheeky wink in to the camera – maybe a shot of him looking in to the mirror and winking at himself?

JACK

We’ll see who’s all cock now!

He exits the bedroom.

We see him walking towards his classroom, mug of tea in hand, he has a smile on his face.

JACK

Begin montage of Sean sabotage

Morning class, how are we all doing? (He doesn’t wait for an answer)

Right, I presume you have all done your homework, place them on the end of my desk now please, and get ready for your test.

The class groan.

Come on, it’s not that bad... (Having watched the last pupil come up to his desk) right is that the last of the homework? Here (handing tests out) pass them along, you have 15 minutes.

Jack sits at his desk and look through the sheets of homework, he spots Sean’s

SILENCE...IT’S A TEST!

He takes Sean’s homework out of the pile, takes it below the desk, scrunches it up and throws it in the bin. The bell is about to ring

JACK

Right pens down, tests to the front, Sean where is your homework?

SEAN

What do you mean? I handed it in sir

JACK

It’s not in my pile, and after I had that chat with your mother, I’m going to need to get her into school.

SEAN

But Sir I? –

JACK

Especially after I spoke to her just yesterday, I want her in tomorrow please, tell her after school. Class dismissed, so disappointed in you.

Jack is cleaning up the classroom, its 3.45 the class has just left; Nicole knocks on the door and walks in.

MRS. ROBINSON

Mr. Allcock, you wanted to see me?

JACK

Well ...

The next day we see Jack inside the classroom, the pupils are busy doing work, making noise but not being too much, he’s looking through the test papers and when he gets to Sean’s he reads through it and makes it a C grade, he looks up at Sean who is busy with his work, takes out a pen and smiles, he changes the grade from a C to a D, he quickly marks the rest and hands them out.

JACK

The next day after class, Jack is sat by his desk, he notices it’s nearly 3.45, he straightens his tie, tucks his shirt in, and squirts breathe freshener in his mouth.

Bring... it ...on!

There’s a knock at the door, its Nicole she smiles sweetly before entering.

The next morning while emptying a bin Jack stumbles across that note from earlier in the week “Mr. Allcock is literally all cock!” He decides to place the note in Sean’s possession in another bid to get Nicole back this time he plans to make a move.

ACT 2

Internal monologue

Actually I don’t need to do this, this is pathetic, just ask the woman out!

Fancy meeting sometime when, shall we discuss Sean over a drink, this is going to sound odd but would you like to...

All the pupils file into class and begin to seat themselves.

JACK

Right settle down ... NOW, thank you, right oh where’s Sean is he late?

STUDENT 2

He’s not in Sir, I think he’s moved.

JACK

Moved? Moved where? What are you talking about?

STUDENT 1

He’s moved school, his mum mentioned him not doing well

JACK

Really? That’s interesting (trying not to look effected), right open you books to page 26 please.

I don’t think that he should try not to look affected, I think we need to see how much this has effected him. Maybe he could be like ‘Really?’ looks shocked and bewildered ‘Right, erm, open your books to page 26 please’ and rushes out to the headmaster to confirm what he’s just been told.

Over the next few scenes we see Jacks appearance deteriorate, his mood worsens and he has a generally negative attitude. We see him throw away his alarm-clock and wake-up late.

We see him sat in the classroom playing with his phone

ACT 3

STUDENT 1

Sir are we not doing much today? – its 2.30

Jack looks up from his desk

JACK

What do you mean?

STUDENT 1

Well all you have done today is make Simon cry, and told us that education is pointless…

This is funny

JACK

And? Look I can’t be bothered with this, raise your hands if you want to go early?

A few students raise there hands

JACK

Ok, get gone then.

Its 4o’clock and Jack is still sat there, looking depressed, he can hear a voice in the distance, a faint laugh and a women saying thank-you, he recognises it to be Nicole’s voice, he panics, gets up in a rush, smooth’s down his hair, checks his breathe and tucks his shirt in. We then see Jack walk up to the door and peer out into the corridor, Nicole looks round having noticed Jacks head emerge from the door way. Jack quickly steps back into the classroom – realising he looked like an idiot, he emerges from the classroom with an awkward smile on his face and begins to walk towards Nicole,

Nicole is stood by a locker and has some books in her hand, she is clearing out Sean’s locker, she looks as beautiful as ever and smile sweetly.

MRS. ROBINSON

Mr. Allcock, I thought that was you.

JACK

Mrs. Robinson, yes I thought I heard voices, how are you?

MRS. ROBINSON

Very well thank you jus cleaning out Sean’s locker, I gather you have heard?

JACK

I have, I’m sorry I couldn’t offer the help he needed but hopefully he’ll be happy where he is now.

Nicole smiles sweetly and then turns to leave.

MRS. ROBINSON

I’ll be seeing you Mr. Allcock

JACK

Call me Jack, oh and Nicole, I was err, thinking… (awkward pause) if you wanted to go out like… and talk… you know, about something other than… um Sean?

MRS. ROBINSON

You mean a date? Jack are you asking me out on a date?

JACK

Well I…

MRS. ROBINSON

I’d love too, I must be going but here, this is my card, call me and we can arrange something?

JACK

Jack is now smiling

Sure yer will do… I’ll call you,

Nicole walks off, leaving Jack stood in the corridor by himself, he looks at the card, and then gives a cheeky wink to the camera.

Nicely done, like the ending. I think they should set a definite date though so we know he’s got what he wants. Also not sure about this winking to the camera business! ha